


pas de deux

by gayNE



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Like Too Many Metaphors, M/M, Melancholy, Metaphors, One Shot, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:40:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23492593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gayNE/pseuds/gayNE
Summary: "Y'alright?" Will asks, and George can't even feel thankful for him caring because his arm is wrapping around Mia's shoulders and pulling her close and he has never wanted to be someone else so badly in his life.
Relationships: George Andrew/Will Lenney, Will Lenney/Mia | miaxmon
Comments: 4
Kudos: 70





	pas de deux

**Author's Note:**

> this is really angsty because i just poured all my feelings into this - also it vaguely resembles poetry but thats ok i make the rules here. enjoy x

George didn't like to live with regrets.  
  
He was always the type of person to try and look on the bright side, appreciate that even if things go wrong, it's how it was meant to be.   
  
But now George can't comprehend that by that mindset, it means he was 'meant' to feel like this. Her hand is resting on his leg, long neon nails standing out against his black pants. She laughs, tossing her head back and he smiles a bit wider, proud.

It's not hatred he feels, burning in his chest, no. George can't even bring himself to _dislike_ Mia.  
  
He wants to - more than anything he wants to dislike the girl who's now dating the man he's been in love with for ages. But he can't.  
  
She truly is lovely, and that's the worst part. She's kind, driven, the kind of woman who makes you feel invited within seconds of meeting her. She has a beautiful smile, even George can see that, so he doesn't blame Will for falling for her so fast.   
  
But it would be a lot easier if she was terrible.  
  
"Want me to make you tea?" Will asks her, and George almost scoffs because since when does he make tea for girls he's seeing?  
  
And then George remember that it's because she's different. They're actually together. George can't dance around the jealousy with Mia because Will is in love with her, Will is her boyfriend, Will is standing up to make her tea and kissing her forehead and George is falling apart.  
  
"Want some?" Will asks, and of course George says no because he doesn't have the heart to say anything else. He doesn't want Will to make him tea if he's also making it for his girlfriend, no matter how stupid that really is.  
  
It leaves them alone in the living room, George with the woman he wants to hate but can't because she's wonderful. George with the woman that made him discover a whole new kind of jealousy.   
  
"Are you feeling okay?" She asks, not even a single hint of anything condescending. She genuinely cares.   
  
"I - huh?"  
  
She leans forward, gently touching her knuckles to his forehead and frowning, "You look a little ill hun, need some water?"  
  
He swallows, a thump arising in his throat, "I'm okay, just a little nauseous."  
  
Will returns with her tea and she immediately tells George in an assertive, but gentle voice to take a sip because Chamomile and "It helps with upset stomachs."  
  
"Y'alright?" Will asks, and George can't even feel thankful for him caring because his arm is wrapping around Mia's shoulders and pulling her close and he has never wanted to be someone else so badly in his life.  
  
It didn't get better with time. He expected it to, you know, like maybe after so many months of watching them together he would either get over it or magically they'd be together instead - happy and away from the world on their own island of serendipity.  
  
If only it were that easy.  
  
He watches as their relationship grows. Lines are drawn and rewritten. They become public, she's his plus one at events, attached at the hip. Everything he wishes he could be.  
  
George wants nothing more than to take her place - be the one in his arms, pressing kisses to his cheek and having his arm around his waist.  
  
But it's too late to tell Will how he feels.

After all, she made him happy. What kind of person would George be to tear Will away from his sunshine? Mia is a source of light to Will just as Will is to George, she's his rock, his tether.  
  
It's too late.  
  
"They're moving in together," Alex tells him one morning, apprehensive, like he knew what his reaction would be. He probably did, considering he's the only person to know about his feelings for Will.  
  
He feels it, then. The breaking point. Emotions he'd bottled away for months, like rocks in a jar - the glass started cracking.  
  
He tried, for a while, to distract himself.  
  
He drowned himself in alcohol and the lips of strangers in dark clubs. He thinks that maybe his mind being numb with ease the seemingly permanent ache in his chest.  
  
It works, for about ten minutes, before he started thinking about Will. He imagined what it felt like to be submerged in his waterfall of his citrus cologne and peppermint lip balm he'd never admit to wearing.  
  
The things he'd do to just get on chance to press their lips together.  
  
He realizes that it's never going to change. At least not on his end.  
  
Will and Mia will keep being happy, keep moving forward and growing, falling deeper in love and sharing keeping their lives intertwined in a way George could only dream of. Their worlds were one and spinning while George falls apart.  
  
They were a Pas De Deux of interlocked souls and all George could do was watch, heart breaking every time Will kisses her instead of him. A crack split in his jar every time they showed up together to parties. 

That's when George realizes it'll never change. Will loves her. They start to refer to each other as their soulmates and George is still stuck there, months ago on the couch with the taste of chamomile on his tongue and Will's arm around her instead of him.  
  
Will's waterfalls and peppermint kisses aren't for him. He'll never get to swim in his early morning skies or have a sea of sheets separate them instead of an ocean of longing. He'll never memorize the way his hands feel against him, never be his one and only because that spot is filled, and all George can think about is how he did this to himself. 

He had the opportunity to whisk Will away, tangle his fingers in his hair and kiss him hard, to tell him how he's never loved anyone the way he loves him and that he'd move mountains for him if he so much as wishes -

But he didn't. He didn't, so he never will.  
  
George didn't like to live with regrets, but he thinks he might live with that shame for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> thoughts and feedback are SO appreciated, thank you for reading i hope you enjoyed


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